
The idea of death and the past is presented from the first stanza. The speaker calls himself "death-suited" after being told Dockery has a son, suggesting that he feels a sense of failure and nothingness in his own life because he hasn't had and won't have a son, so because of this the next thing in life for him is death. The Dean begins to ask the speaker if he's "in touch with" Dockery but the question is unfinished and goes unanswered. We know that the speaker isn't in touch with Dockery, to me, this emphasises that the past is untouchable and cannot be revisited or changed. I think in this poem, the speaker has a realisation that they don't actually have much to live for, the "black-gown" made me think of a funeral. Perhaps the speaker is experiencing a metaphorical funeral, mourning over the chunk of life he wasn't aware he had missed and could also be an implication that death isn't far around the corner. I sensed that perhaps the speaker felt nostalgic of times where he'd have to describe his "version" of "incidents" from the, I'm presuming drunken "night" before, because he felt it was relevant, this could suggest that he hadn't realised that life had gone past the stage of being able to be youthful and careless until he discovered that Dockery had a son and now feels he's wasted life. The speaker tries "the door of where (he) used to live" but it was "locked", I think this is metaphorical for how again, the past cannot be changed, and that perhaps the speaker wishes he could, creating a sense of regret.
Contrasting with the previous stanza, in the second stanza there is a short-lived optimism presented where "the lawn spread dazzlingly wide". I think this suggests that the speaker realises that he has still got life left to live, opportunities to take and places to go. Also, this is when the speaker is on his journey home from his old university, implying that he has now been set free from his past to live his life. But then the speaker goes back to discussing Dockery, he shows he is shocked that he had a son so young at "nineteen, twenty" saying "good lord".
In Sheffield, the speaker changed trains which corresponds with the change in content of the poem, from when the speaker has changed trains he becomes a lot more philosophical and thoughtful. The speaker saw the "joining and parting lines reflect a strong unhindered moon". I think the "joining and parting lines" are metaphorical for the different paths of life which humans take, and how sometimes people will share similar paths but other times people will be completely different to one another. Or perhaps the "joining and parting lines" could be referring to how everyone takes (parts) different paths to life, but we all end (join) at the same result which is death. The "unhindered moon" is quite a beautiful image and I think represents the unreachable dreams everyone has that control the paths of life we take. I think the dreams are unreachable because the moon is out of reach and the moon is "unhindered", suggesting it is something which no human can get to. This is quite sad as essentially the speaker could be suggesting that dreams don't come true and instead lead people to their deaths. The "unhindered moon" could also represent fate, as the moon is something which exists regardless of humans, yet is always metaphorically looking over us so could mean that whatever we do in life and whatever we aspire to do, our future is already determined for us. However, I doubt fate is the meaning behind the "unhindered moon" as I don't think Larkin was religious because in his poems he considers death as the end rather than having an after-life, but I still think that it's interesting.
The speaker felt it was "quite natural" to have "no son, no wife, no house or land", showing how different he is to Dockery. The repetition of "no" I think suggests a hint of regret in the speaker as it suggests he hasn't actually got anything to show for his life. The realisation of "how much had gone of life" caused the speaker to feel "shock" and "numbness", emphasising how each choice that is made in life, added together determines our future and how the past cannot be changed and how the speaker has lived without realising. The "numbness" again suggests that the speaker feels emptiness and regret about his life, or maybe is just questioning whether the decisions he has made for his life are wrong because they're different from most people. Then the speaker comes to the conclusion that the difference between him and Dockery is that Dockery had "taken stock of what he wanted, and been capable", suggesting that the speaker wasn't aware that he had made the decision to not have children and have the life Dockery has. However, the speaker changes his mind and decides he wouldn't like the life Dockery has as he thinks that having children is "dilution", meaning it weakens you as a person and lowers the quality of life, whereas to Dockery having children must have been an "increase" to life. The speaker asks "Why did he think adding meant increase?" suggesting he cannot even comprehend the reasons why somebody would want a child. The speaker says that people don't have children because it's "truest" or what they "most want to do" but because it's a "style", suggesting that society's expectations of life heavily influences people's life choices despite what they genuinely want. Our life choices "harden into all we've got", suggesting that our choices amount to our whole life, the word "harden" implies that we end up regretting the choices we make and the choices we once thought were good ideas lose their novelty.

As well as death and how our choices define us as a person, I also think that the speaker is suggesting that as we grow older, we have less and less choices and we are gradually limited in life as we age. It's interesting how the speaker is on a journey in the poem as so are his thoughts, and at the end of the poem the speaker has concluded his thoughts.I can imagine that this is where the train journey may have ended.
I am loving your thoughtful reflections and the images you are choosing. Explore background material on Larkin himself and on the texts - there's lots to find and you can gather it all here on your blog
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