That unseasonable July in Ogmore
nothing was happening until it happened,
the commuters trapped in their stuffy office block;
the sea slow, the Monday beach sullen, empty,
and I, thinking of the squabble with my wife:
fast barbed words that made the other squirm
and fed flushed indignation, verbal revenge -
a dead bird eaten by the early worm.
I piled up my usual clothes and daps tidily
on a convenient boulder brooding nearby
and, troubled, saw the far dank confusion of
the sea and sky in resentful wedlock.
A mile out the monstrous Tusker Rock crammed
with ghosts and psychopomps raised black fangs.
So many boats it had torn asunder. Seagulls
drifted above it like lost thoughts of the damned.
Soon, during the fussy sea, I entered
a B movie to enact my great climatic scene.
(After I sank - weep for me - the credits would come up,
then the screen, appropriately, would go blank.)
I swivelled for a last winsome longshot, saw
on the high cliff my wife dressed in blue and all
the best of the world true and desirable.
With surrendering waves I crawled to the shore.
Our own cold wars during the real Cold War
were few and brief. Sulky, I'd linger at my desk
but children's cries were mightier than the pen.
And sweet the armistice, each kiss, and then...
Commentary...
This poem is about the speaker and his wife having an argument and then making up. The month of "July" being mentioned tells the reader that the poem is set in summer, the "Monday beach sullen" and the "stuffy office block" are showing how on the weekend families would typically have fun on the beach but then on Monday, people have to return to work and face reality where the beach is left "empty". This suggests that the speaker dislikes the contrast between the happiness and excitement of the weekend where "nothing was happening until it happened" compared to the mundanity of work Monday-Friday, the stresses of work can sometimes have a negative affect on home life. Also, the suggestion that the weekend is much better than the week could imply that the greatness of the weekends make the week worth it. This idea could be linked to marriage as the positive parts of marriage weigh out the negative and make the marriage worthwhile. The speaker describes the "squabble" with his wife saying they used "fast barbed words", suggesting that they said hurtful things to one another and not necessarily meaning them, they were said more for the reason of getting "revenge". The speaker and his wife were "squirm(ing) at one another's words, showing how hurtful they were and suggesting that inside they actually loved each other and don't enjoy hurting each other. I think this story told by the speaker is a situation everyone can relate to - saying hurtful things which you don't mean in an argument with somebody you love but then at the end of the day you would hate for the hurtful words which held no meaning, said in the heat of the argument to make a permanent affect on the relationship. I think how Abse has used a situation that occurs in everyone's lives helps the reader relate to the poem, Larkin does this in a similar way by discussing everyday events and the speaker's feelings about what he observes, what's discussed include themes such as love, death and loss which will affect everyone's lives.
The speaker "piled up (his) usual clothes" "nearby", this suggests that he would leave the marital home to make a point because of their argument, however stayed "nearby" because realistically the only place he wanted to be was home with his wife and sort their argument out. The speaker saw "confusion" in the "sea and sky" that were in "resentful wedlock". This personification could be metaphorical for how when a married couple argue, they do feel resentful. However, the sea and sky are always together and are meant to be together, just like the speaker and his wife. Being together all the time however, could lead to a couple being resentful towards each other sometimes, perhaps the speaker is suggesting that this is normal in a relationship and the love him and his wife share is everlasting despite their arguments.
The "Tusker Rock" that the speaker was looking at seems cursed, being "crammed with ghosts and psychopomps raised black fangs". This suggests that the rock was deathly. The rock had "torn asunder" boats and the "seagulls drifted above it like lost thoughts of the damned", this could possibly be suggesting that metaphorically, visiting and dwelling on this cursed place (arguments) can damage the marriage forever, instead couples should resolve their problems and move forward rather than letting them be the death of the relationship. I think perhaps the speaker was at this point dwelling on his annoyance about the argument with his wife, as he "entered a B movie to enact (his) great climatic scene", suggesting that his feelings about it felt so strong and he was thinking about it to such an extent it felt like he was playing a part in a movie. The speaker wanted people to "weep for" him, implying that for that moment he wanted to dwell on the argument and wanted others to understand and share his sadness about it.
After dwelling on the argument between him and his wife, the speaker sees his "wife dressed in blue and all the best of the world true and desirable", suggesting he had suddenly realised the greatness of his wife and that their love for each other is too true and strong for an argument to spoil their marriage. As well as this, the speaker had the realisation that this "desirable" and the "best of the world" person was actually his wife and I think this helped him put things into perspective and made him appreciate his wife even more. The personified "surrendering waves" of the sea could be metaphorical for how the speaker gave up being annoyed and realised he couldn't stay away for any longer, perhaps because staying angry at somebody you love for a long time can be difficult and he realised what's most important and that is the couple's love for one another. The speaker "crawled" to the shore suggesting that he was seeking forgiveness from his wife and suggests a desperation in him that he needs his wife and that is more important to him than anything else.
In the final stanza, the speaker says that him and his wife had their own "cold wars during the real Cold War" and suggested that "children's cries were mightier" than their arguments, this shows how their arguments were meaningless and insignificant in relation to the rest of the world. The "armistice" was "sweet" between the couple, suggesting that they have realised how much they love each other and how much they value their marriage so as a result of their argument, they feel even closer and stronger together than before. I get the impression that "each kiss, and then..." means that the couple start to appreciate and treasure "each kiss" they have after their argument, like they would have done more when their relationship began. I suppose when a couple have been together for a lifetime they may take simple things such as kisses for granted but after their argument each kiss is special to the couple. Perhaps because they've realised what it's like to temporarily lose the other one which made them appreciate each other more. The "and then..." is open to several interpretations, it following "kiss" and there being "..." suggests that their make up lead to sex, a way of feeling together as one again and expressing their love and feelings to each other. However, "and then..." could also suggest that the story told in the poem is like a cycle because the ellipses suggests it is continuous, as the couple will probably have arguments again. The title being 'A Scene from Married Life' tells the reader that arguments and then making up in marriage is expected for every healthy marriage, showing that it is okay to argue and shows how no marriage is perfect. The title of the poem is generalised and just shows that arguments are just one "scene from married life", they don't need to take over as the love and the great parts of the marriage make the silly bad things worth while.
One Larkin poem which this Abse poem made me think of was 'Talking in Bed' as it shows the struggles of relationships, yet at the end of the day they still choose to be in bed together, suggesting that in both poems, relationships can have their struggles but can still exist as a happy and loving relationship because if the love is strong enough then the couple should be able to overcome the relationship's struggles together and hopefully come out stronger the other side.
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