'Self's the Man' by Phillip Larkin

'Self's the Man' is quite a colloquial poem, using quite jolly and joking language to discuss the contrast between the speaker and Arnold's life choices.

It seems that the poem is answering a previous statement of telling the speaker that he's more selfish than Arnold, as the opening line is "Oh, no one can deny that Arnold is less selfish than I". This statement seems sarcastic, particularly because of the "oh" at the beginning making it informal. It's suggested that Arnold is considered less selfish than the speaker because he has a wife and family whereas presumably the speaker only has to look after himself. Arnold "married a woman to stop her getting away" but "now she's there all day" these two are extremes, all or nothing but neither seems to be portrayed as positive. Before, the "woman" was getting away, showing freedom, yet marriage has stopped her from doing that, suggesting that the speaker thinks marriages are traps. Arnold's wife being called "woman" seems a bit distant, rather than being called by her name, perhaps suggesting the speaker thinks the situation would be the same with Arnold and any woman, generalising woman implying they're no different to one another also seems sexist.

It's suggested that the speaker thinks following the tradition of getting married and making a family is "wasting...life". Arnold's wife "takes (his money) as her perk" suggesting that she's selfish, but also that Arnold is providing for his whole family, not just himself, so he has to share everything he works for, unlike the speaker. The "kiddies' clobber" is portrayed as unnecessary by the speaker, implying again, a negative opinion of marriage and having children.

Arnold has "no time at all" for himself, suggesting he's selfless. Even when "he finishes supper" which is very late on in the day and wants to relax reading the "even paper" he has to "put a screw in the wall" implying that the marriage is about pleasing his family, not about what makes him happy and that it's like a chore. It also emphasises the loss of freedom and independence when married with children. Even though the speaker suggests he'd be unhappy with Arnold's life, we're unaware whether Arnold is happy or not as it seems only the negative sides of marriage are described and the positives are ignored. But maybe, Arnold thinks marriage is worth the sacrifices, unlike the speaker.

The speaker shows how Arnold may feel obliged to welcome "her mother" to "come for the summer" suggesting that marriage is stressful and pressured, as well as being repetitive and boring, creating an undesirable image of marriage.The speaker almost started to feel guilt when he "compare(d)" Arnold's and his life, making him feel like a "swine" because he thinks his life is so much better and sympathises for Arnold because of being trapped in a marriage.

However, in the sixth stanza the speaker has a change of heart and decides that Arnold is in fact selfish as " he was out for his own ends". The speaker starts to decide that there isn't such a "contrast" between him and Arnold, suggesting they're both equally as selfish because they both chose to have their life that way.

The speaker said that he has "a better hand at knowing what (he) can stand", suggesting he thinks he has made better life choices than Arnold and that Arnold isn't coping well with the pressures of marriage. This emphasises how it's important to think carefully about life choices as eventually you become trapped in them. Also, because the way Arnold and the speaker's life is, is out of choice and may be a "mistake", neither should moan because it was for their "own sake". The final two lines about them "sending a van" is perhaps suggesting that if the wrong life choices are made, you could be sent off in a van because you've gone insane, or perhaps it's suggesting that the life choices which are made result in who we are when we die and the "van" represents an ambulance, taking them away because they've died. The themes of loss of freedom because of marriage and the importance of life choices reminds me very much of Dockery and Son, also Here because the speaker seems satisfied with being alone.

'Postcard to His Wife' by Dannie Abse annotations

 

 

 

This poem is very personal to Abse’s loss of his wife, the structure, the exclamation marks and the emotions shown make it really realistic, like he is literally calling out for his wife, begging her to come back. I think the way he has described his love for his wife and the whole poem is beautiful.

Abse is writing from his own experience, whereas Larkin seems to write as an observer of other people’s lives. However Larkin has explored the themes of love and relationships in some of his poems such as in Love Songs in Age, Talking in Bed and Wild Oats. Also in this poem a huge theme is loss, this is also a theme in Larkin's poems such as in Home Is So Sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'Talking In Bed' by Phillip Larkin

The first impression of the poem is that it is going to be a typical love poem because of the title being 'Talking In Bed'. However, along with other paradoxes such as "untrue" and "true" and "kind" and "unkind", the title is a paradox with the poem because the poem is about a couple not talking in bed.

The persona said that "talking in bed ought to be easiest", perhaps because a bed is a very intimate place between a couple, where they should feel most comfortable together so it seems unusual that the couple in this poem are finding it difficult to talk, maybe Larkin is showing what he thinks the reality is of long-term relationships as opposed to the expectations. The persona saying talking should be "easiest" suggests that they're struggling to talk rather than being content in silence. The couple "lying together there goes back so far" is ambiguous as it could literally mean lying as in lying side by side in bed and they've been doing the same thing for a long time or that the couple have been telling each other lies over time, if so, perhaps their relationship is a lie. A couples bed is "an emblem"  like a symbol "of two people being honest" and maybe the persona is saying their's isn't. Or maybe he and his partner are honest and their honesty and their relationship is so strong that their is a metaphorical shield "emblem" to the rest of the world, showing they can't be broken.

In the second stanza I get the impression that the poem is about the struggles of a long-term relationship, perhaps because sometimes they run out of things to say to one another, I reckon either an enduring love or failing love. Perhaps the outside weather, "wind's incompletely unrest" is a metaphor for how the couple are feeling, how inside their heads they have lots of thoughts going around, yet they are still not talking, I think the weather portrays a sense of feeling uncomfortable in the couple. Another thing which I think suggests this is that "dark towns heap", to me this creates an image of darkness and negative things building up metaphorically in the couples' thoughts, perhaps resentment. The outside world will still go on regardless of what the couple do because "none" "cares" for them, this emphasises how a relationship is just about two people and not about anyone else in the world. The "unique distance from isolation" shows the couple are so physically close yet they may still feel isolated and alone.

I think at the beginning of the couple's relationship words were "once true and kind" as that is when it's the beginning of something new and exciting. However as relationships go on and the couple get to know each other more, as well as discovering the other person's good qualities, more flaws are also discovered, this is perhaps why the couple in the poem are "not untrue and not unkind" because it becomes more "difficult to be 100% true and 100% kind at the same time when you know somebody so well. If they were 100% true then they may be being unkind. This may be why the couple are silent.

Dannie Abse

Dannie Abse was born in 1923 and was brought up in Cardiff but has lived mostly in London. Abse is a successful poet, editor, memoirist, essayist, playwright and novelist. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, the Welsh Academy of Letters, Honoury Fellow at the University of Wales College of Medicine and recipient of the Cholmondeley Award.

Abse is one Britain's leading and most popular poets; he draws his welsh roots and Jewish inheritance into his poems as well as combining his careers of being an author and a doctor into his poetry and his life being a husband, brother and father. This has given him a unique identity in British poetry.

Also, the death of Abse's wife appears to be a theme in some of his poems.

Abse on learning to appreciate poetry click here

Abse on being a poet and medical student click here


Abse on writing medically themed poetry click here

'Ambulances' by Phillip Larkin

'Ambulances' seems to have a strong theme of death being inevitable.


A confessional is found in Roman Catholic churches where Catholics admit to their sins, a reason they do this is to make sure they still go to heaven. The fact that the ambulances were "closed like confessionals" suggests that the person's life is vulnerable and is hanging on a "thread". Also, it makes me think of purgatory, but instead of the decision being made of going into heaven or hell, it's life or death. As well as this, it being "closed" could show how no matter how much people cared about the person inside, they cannot help and the person's life depends on what happens inside the ambulance, emphasising how death is inevitable no matter what happens while you're living. The ambulance being "grey" could be a metaphor for how the person's life is at risk as grey is thought to be an unclear colour as opposed to black and white, showing again how the person's life is vulnerable. I think "All streets in time are visited" is a metaphor for how everyone is going to die at some point.

The children "strewn" to watch the ambulance, making them sound scattered around very casually, suggesting that death is a fact of life and perhaps it shouldn't be feared so much. However, the "smell of different dinners" makes me think of families enjoying eating together and how perhaps everyday family time is taken for granted because the person inside the ambulance could be taken away from this, creating a sense of loss. The "red" stretcher could be symbolic for how the person going into the ambulance is the centre of attention as it made me think of the red carpet which celebrities walk up. However, I thought this could be a negative thing as I get the impression that the people watching are more nosey rather than having genuine care for the person going into the ambulance. The person going into the ambulance is "stowed", showing that they're hidden from the public to see. It could also be a metaphor for how a lot of us hide and try and ignore that we're going to die.

Death is "the solving emptiness that lies just under all we do", to me the "solving" shows how with each second that passes our life is "solving", adding up and getting closer to death, leaving less life left, emphasising how life is precious and how with time, the way we spend our life adds up to who we are at the end. I also think that the persona may have found a comfort with death as "solving" seems like a positive word. The "emptiness" is quite a frightening thought, how after having years and years of living, having so many memories and feeling so many different emotions, it seems crazy that all these can disappear and turn into "emptiness" like they never existed, when some of these things meant everything to us at one point. Death lying "under all we do" seems "blank" and cold but also "true" as it is true that with everything we do we're closer to our death. The witnesses of the person going into the ambulance were whispering "at their own distress" which I think again the persona is suggesting that the people were more concerned about the realisation that they've had that they're going to die one day, rather than the potential death of their neighbour as it was "their own" distress instead of the person's in the ambulance. The persona may be suggesting how sometimes it can take something horrible to happen to make us appreciate what we have.

The memories begin to "loosen", showing how the person dying is slowly slipping away and become detached from their life, also they're being set free as they're no longer tied to life. Being "unreachable inside a room" suggests that in the end everyone is going to be alone. However, being "unreachable" is ambiguous as it could mean being safe, free and having solitude. The "exchange of love" suggests that love is always equal between two people and suggests that people only give love to receive it, like an exchange for goods and money in shops. However, this implication seems quite simplistic to me and suggests that love is a conscious decision but we can't control who we love, or who loves us.  

The rhyme of the poem is repetitive and consistent and the rhythm is very regular too, it sounds almost like a heart beating, this could represent how somebody is dying in the poem, but also because everyone's heart beats to a similar rhythm, the poem relates to everyone because everyone will die.

 

'Dockery and Son' by Phillip Larkin

'Dockery and Son' is about the speaker visiting their old university and discovering and explaining their thoughts that an acquaintance of his from when he was at university named Dockery, has a son who also goes to the university.

The idea of death and the past is presented from the first stanza. The speaker calls himself "death-suited" after being told Dockery has a son, suggesting that he feels a sense of failure and nothingness in his own life because he hasn't had and won't have a son, so because of this the next thing in life for him is death. The Dean begins to ask the speaker if he's "in touch with" Dockery but the question is unfinished and goes unanswered. We know that the speaker isn't in touch with Dockery, to me, this emphasises that the past is untouchable and cannot be revisited or changed. I think in this poem, the speaker has a realisation that they don't actually have much to live for, the "black-gown" made me think of a funeral. Perhaps the speaker is experiencing a metaphorical funeral, mourning over the chunk of life he wasn't aware he had missed and could also be an implication that death isn't far around the corner. I sensed that perhaps the speaker felt nostalgic of times where he'd have to describe his "version" of "incidents" from the, I'm presuming drunken "night" before, because he felt it was relevant, this could suggest that he hadn't realised that life had gone past the stage of being able to be youthful and careless until he discovered that Dockery had a son and now feels he's wasted life. The speaker tries "the door of where (he) used to live" but it was "locked", I think this is metaphorical for how again, the past cannot be changed, and that perhaps the speaker wishes he could, creating a sense of regret.

Contrasting with the previous stanza, in the second stanza there is a short-lived optimism presented where "the lawn spread dazzlingly wide". I think this suggests that the speaker realises that he has still got life left to live, opportunities to take and places to go. Also, this is when the speaker is on his journey home from his old university, implying that he has now been set free from his past to live his life. But then the speaker goes back to discussing Dockery, he shows he is shocked that he had a son so young at "nineteen, twenty" saying "good lord".

In Sheffield, the speaker changed trains which corresponds with the change in content of the poem, from when the speaker has changed trains he becomes a lot more philosophical and thoughtful. The speaker saw the "joining and parting lines reflect a strong unhindered moon". I think the "joining and parting lines" are metaphorical for the different paths of life which humans take, and how sometimes people will share similar paths but other times people will  be completely different to one another. Or perhaps the "joining and parting lines" could be referring to how everyone takes (parts) different paths to life, but we all end (join) at the same result which is death. The "unhindered moon" is quite a beautiful image and I think represents the unreachable dreams everyone has that control the paths of life we take. I think the dreams are unreachable because the moon is out of reach and the moon is "unhindered", suggesting it is something which no human can get to. This is quite sad as essentially the speaker could be suggesting that dreams don't come true and instead lead people to their deaths. The "unhindered moon" could also represent fate, as the moon is something which exists regardless of humans, yet is always metaphorically looking over us so could mean that whatever we do in life and whatever we aspire to do, our future is already determined for us. However, I doubt fate is the meaning behind the "unhindered moon" as I don't think Larkin was religious because in his poems he considers death as the end rather than having an after-life, but I still think that it's interesting.

The speaker felt it was "quite natural" to have "no son, no wife, no house or land", showing how different he is to Dockery. The repetition of "no" I think suggests a hint of regret in the speaker as it suggests he hasn't actually got anything to show for his life. The realisation of "how much had gone of life" caused the speaker to feel "shock" and "numbness", emphasising how each choice that is made in life, added together determines our future and how the past cannot be changed and how the speaker has lived without realising. The "numbness" again suggests that the speaker feels emptiness and regret about his life, or maybe is just questioning whether the decisions he has made for his life are wrong because they're different from most people. Then the speaker comes to the conclusion that the difference between him and Dockery is that Dockery had "taken stock of what he wanted, and been capable", suggesting that the speaker wasn't aware that he had made the decision to not have children and have the life Dockery has. However, the speaker changes his mind and decides he wouldn't like the life Dockery has as he thinks that having children is "dilution", meaning it weakens you as a person and lowers the quality of life, whereas to Dockery having children must have been an "increase" to life. The speaker asks "Why did he think adding meant increase?" suggesting he cannot even comprehend the reasons why somebody would want a child. The speaker says that people don't have children because it's "truest" or what they "most want to do" but because it's a "style", suggesting that society's expectations of life heavily influences people's life choices despite what they genuinely want. Our life choices "harden into all we've got", suggesting that our choices amount to our whole life, the word "harden" implies that we end up regretting the choices we make and the choices we once thought were good ideas lose their novelty.

The speaker describes our life choices as "sand-clouds, thick and close", perhaps being a metaphor for how in life we can get lost and suffocated by everything that is going that without noticing we are making life changing decisions. The speaker says he has "nothing" but also, Dockery has "nothing with all a son's harsh patronage", perhaps suggesting that no matter what people do in life, at the end they're always left with nothing. I am not quite sure what is meant by "life is first boredom, then fear." but could possibly be saying how people are often bored of life and don't appreciate what they have, but when there's a risk they're going to lose it, they're scared. I think it suggests that the speaker feels very unsatisfied with life. "Whether or not we use it" life goes, is perhaps referring to how the only definite thing in life is death. I think the speaker of the poem is making a point of how the choices we make are what defines us as a person, but also how death is inevitable and we all end up in the same situation. Perhaps the speaker makes this point because he thinks the fact of death is "hidden" from us, which is in a way true because it is something which most people try and avoid thinking or talking about because thinking of it too much can taint the happiness we have while we're living.

As well as death and how our choices define us as a person, I also think that the speaker is suggesting that as we grow older, we have less and less choices and we are gradually limited in life as we age. It's interesting how the speaker is on a journey in the poem as so are his thoughts, and at the end of the poem the speaker has concluded his thoughts.I can imagine that this is where the train journey may have ended.